This could totally have happened!
by Zantetsuken Reverse
Summary: The scenes in Final Fantasy X and X-2 that could have easily happened. In which Paine attacks Tidus, everyone in Spira is in on a prank, and so on. Small Tidus/Yuna, no cussing, only light humor. DEAD!
1. Chapter 1 Paine VS Tidus!

Hi there, this is my first ever fanfic. As a side note, each of these oneshots occupies a different timeline. For example, the joke on Tidus can't exist alongside Paine's first reaction. You'll see what I mean when I write them.

To start out with a bang, heeeeeerrrrreeeeeee's

Y'know, Yunie, I guess we should have told her Earlier.

It was a great day. The sun was shining over Spira, Vegnagun had just been defeated- and Tidus was coming back.

"Higher, Brother!" Yuna yelled.

"Aye-Aye!"

"Faster, Brother!"

"Aye-Aye!"

They were almost there… Besaid! Up ahead! And was that?

Yuna leapt out of the Celsius and-

"SHUYIN! YOU"LL PAY!" Paine jumped out of the airship right before Yuna did, and pulled out her sword. "THIS IS FOR EVERYONE IN THE CRIMSON SQUAD!", she screamed.

"Wh-wha-?" Tidus materialized his Caladabolg immediately. Paine struck him for 2567 damage.

"Hey! I don't know who you are, or why you're attacking me, but if it's a fight you want…" Tidus said, and lashed out for 5608 damage.

"Ugh! Like you can forget! Hyah!"

"STOP IT!" Yuna blasted her guns upwards, and yelled.

"Y-Yuna!" Tidus exclaimed, "I-I'm so glad to see you!"

"THE ONE TIME YOU GOT HER NAME RIGHT, HUH!" shouted Paine furiously. "WHY I OUGHTA"-

BLAM! "Will you two stop so that I can explain!" Yuna yelled, "This is Tidus and he-"

"Wait, what?"

"He's… or he was my Guardian. He sort of, well, disappeared for the last two years,"

"Oh. Sorry about that. Tidus, right? My name's Paine"

"It's okay. But why me?"

"You look exactly like the guy who massacred my friends,"

"Holy- There's a guy in the world who looks exactly like me?"

"Long story, Tidus. Think of it as Meister Seymour coming back," Yuna said.

"Ouch. Well, I don't blame ya,"

"**Yunie? I guess we should have told her earlier**…"

"I kinda agree. I mean, she did attack me,"

"Hey, if Paine's this bad, I wonder what Gippal and the others would do..." Rikku muttered to herself.

Ominous ending!


	2. Chapter 2 Zanarkand!

Hi! I just realized two things. First, I forgot the disclaimer. And second, I realized that some of my fics can actually exist together without causing a paradox. This is one of them! I don't own Final Fantasy, if I did then Rikku would be less annoying. Note: Some of the lines below are actually game quotes.

Zanarkand isn't a ruin!

**Al Bhed Cargo Ship…**

"Have you hit your head or something?" said Rikku.

"You guys hit me, remember?" reminded Tidus.

"Well, Zanarkand's been ruined for the past 1000 years. No one plays Blitzball there,"

**One day later, Besaid Island…**

_I felt that I could trust this 'Wakka' person, so I had to ask._

"Hey, so Zanarkand's gone, now. Just a big pile of rubble where it was, right?"

"Yeah. But I bet the players there were really soft, ya?"

**Much, much later, the Fayth statues at Mt. Gagazet…**

"This is my story" Tidus touched the statues.

FLASH!

"Wha- Where am I?" Tidus looked around, "I'm in Zanarkand!"

"Yes and no," a mysterious boy called, "You-"

"YAY! Wakka and Rikku were wrong! **Zanarkand isn't a ruin **after all"

"No, you are a- Wait, what?"

"That means that I'm home again! I'm gonna get everyone together and PARTY!"

"Tidus, are you listening to me?"

"GYAHH! What are you doing at my house!"

"… I take that as a no. You are a dream. If you defeat Sin, you will… lose your existence. We the Fayth will be free. So please defeat Sin,"

"Wait, what? You want me do die so that you can die too?"

"Er… yeah. But Yuna will not die if you do this. And you'll see her later (like in two years),"

"Well, okay then," pause… "Wait, what do you mean by-"

POOF!

"-Two years!"

"What jeus happen, ya?"

"Nothing much. I… kinda found out what happens when we defeat Sin,"

Note- this is a chapter that I know is pretty bad, but it's sort of a filler.


	3. Chapter 3 Seymour's manor

Disclaimer- If I owned final fantasy, then the games would have been much worse.

My Proposal's ruined!

"Please, step inside," said Meister Seymour. "This sphere is a reconstruction of the memories of the dead that wander the Farplane."

FLASH!

"Whoa!"

"Zanarkand!"

"Correct. An ancient city of Machina, Zanarkand was a metropolis," said Seymour, "And she used to live here,"

"She?" asked Yuna.

FLASH!

"What can I do for you?" a pretty girl with long brown hair and a blue outfit sang.

Cue music.

"What can I do for you (ye ha)? What can I do for you (alright)?"

Everyone jaw drop.

"Wha? Who's that?" Rikku asked.

"She looks a little familiar…" said Tidus.

"What is with this music?" and irritated Lulu muttered.

"Hey! Tidus! There's a guy who looks just like you down there!" Wakka yelled.

"Let me see!" Yuna peered over Seymour's shoulder, "Wow, you're right!"

"… What? Tromell, what happened?" Seymour was angry now.

"Um, sir, it appears that the pyreflies aren't thinking about Lady Yunalesca," answered Tromell.

"Then what now?" he whispered back furiously, "Should I go for it or not?"

"Be patient, my lord,"

FLASH!

"Er, what was that? Why were you showing us a sphere of my grandmother's pop concert?" asked Tidus.

"Your grandmother?" asked Lulu.

"Er… Sin's Toxin?"

_**Oh, my proposal's ruined!**__ Now what am I going to do?_ Panicked Seymour.

"If that's all, you may leave,"

"Um, thank you, Your Grace," Yuna bowed and left with the res t of the party.

"Man, what was that?" Wakka wondered.

"Well, one thing's for sure. Yuna, don't ever wear such a scanty outfit as that girl," Lulu pressured.

"Okay then. On to the Thunder Plains!"

Always remember, dead people are more likely to think of pop stars rather than people who saved the world AFTER they died. And yes, that was Lenne singing, and Shuyin was just there for a cameo. But what did Tidus mean by 'his grandmother's concert'? Find out when I can be bothered to explain!


	4. Chapter 4 What about Issaru?

I realized this a little while ago, when I got to the airship. If the only way on or off of the Airship is by Cid's teleporter, then how did Issaru get off? Note- Heathenishness isn't a word I'd normally use, I don't think that this is even the right context, but I realized that there is no devil in FF, but there are heathens, so devilishness would be heathenishness. As another note, since you almost never see Issaru, I took a few liberties with his personality. Oh, and since this is from Issaru's point of view, Al Bhed will not be translated.

If it had been anyone else…

"Okay, here's the plan," I told my brothers, "We're getting off this thing, and we're going to Zanarkand!" If it had been anyone else I'd been talking to, I would have spoken differently. But these were my little brothers; I could afford to lose some formality.

"Issaru, just how can we get off? That bald Al Bhed is the only person who can get us on or off, so-" Maroda broke off. He saw the identical looks of pure heathenishness on mine and Pacce's faces. "Oh. Right,"

"Operation Ninja Summoner Guardian commences!" Pacce all but yelled. If it had been anyone else, I would have hissed at him to be quiet, but he's my brother.

"Right, let's go!" I put my hand in my robes and pulled out three sets of camouflage clothing.

"You carry spare clothing in your robes?" Maroda asked.

"Of course!" Where else would I store all of our stuff?

"So that's why you wear so much clothing…"

I sighed. "You've gotten used to Donna, haven't you," What is up with her clothing? A bikini would cover more. I'm glad Lord Braska's daughter has some modesty. "Yup, she'll never wear scanty clothing,"

"What? She DOES wear scanty clothing,"

"Not her, I meant Lady Yuna," I said quickly. I hadn't realized that I'd said it out loud. But why do I have the feeling that I'm wrong?

"What'cha all talking about?" Pacce interrupted.

"Nothing!" I said quickly. "This set is for you," I changed the subject and gave a small suit to him. We changed as quickly as possible, mainly because I certainly didn't want to show any part of my body to those Al Bhed heathens, and we ran.

"You are one with nature; nature is one with you," I muttered as we tried to hide. Except that this machina was the epitome of unnatural. But it was so incredible… No! I will not think of this abomination as any way impressive! But I need nature to hide. Nature, nature…

"What's wrong, Issaru? You look like you're having another mental conversation."

"THE AIR IS NATURAL!" If we had been in anywhere else besides a corridor where the Al Bhed spoke their language and could not understand ours, I would have been humiliated. But luckily, I was spared the humiliation by the location.

"… Let's just go." I was glad that Maroda suggested it rather than me. We crept like ninjas, sneaking through passage after passage…

"Man, everywhere looks the same here," Pacce said aloud. I silently agreed with him. What kind of a person designs a building where you can't get anywhere without a map? I watched the heathens go by.

"Rao, ech'd dryd dra Summoner?" One said.

"Oayr, fro ec ra retehk?"

" Paydc sa"

"Coast is clear, let's go!" We finally got to the control room. From what we could see, it was deserted. Now all that we had to do was press this button! CLICK. …Right?

"It's not working!" I shouted.

"This was your idea, do something!" Maroda shouted back.

"Hey, what does this button do?" CLICK.

FWOOOSH! Suddenly we were back in the Thunder Plains.

"Wow… I guess that we can only go on ," Pacce said. I silently agreed.

Later, in the Calm Lands…

"Meister Seymour has requested you presence in Bevelle," A Guado came up to me.

"Okay then. Maroda, Pacce, please, stay behind,"

"But Issaru…"

"I'll be alright. Just stay here," Those were the last words I said to them before departing.

Later, in the Via Purifico…

"Agh… There's an exit up ahead. Go!" If it had been anybody else…


	5. Chapter 5 Sorry

I know it's been a while. I just kinda forgot about this fic, among all the serious ones. This takes place right after Tidus comes back to Spira. It starts off serious, but

He's your WHAT?

"So it all started when we found this sphere of you…" began Yuna.

"Uh-huh," nodded Tidus, smiling. "And then what?"

"It showed you in prison, but we couldn't tell where you were. So I joined up with Rikku and became a Sphere Hunter, to travel that world looking for you!"

"Wait a minute; I never went near a prison! Well, not counting the time we crashed Seymour's wedding,"

"Anyway, it turned out to be this Unsent, who looks exactly like you,"

"Really? What happened to him?"

"He's from Zanarkand, like you, except it was the real one. He… he got caught up in the war with Bevelle, and his girlfriend, who was a Summoner, was sent to the front lines. He tried to save her, but he got captured,"

"Sounds like the two of us, huh?" said Tidus, knowing the implications of that statement.

"Yeah," replied Yuna. "He broke out, and found the first thing that could possibly stop the war- this supermachina called Vegnagun, but he and his lover were killed by guards,"

Tidus gulped. "If you're calling it a super- anything, that's probably a bad thing, right?"

"It had the power to destroy the world,"

"But then why would he do that?"

"I… guess that it's because he loved her, and he was desperate,"

"You're right. Maybe if I couldn't save you, then I might have done the same thing," said Tidus deeply. "Hey, if he was from Zanarkand, then I might have known him. What was his name?"

"Shuyin,"

Tidus's expression changed from deep to shock in an instant. "D-did you just say Shuyin?"

"Yes. Did you know him?"

"Ye-yeah… He's my … how should I say this… he was my grandfather,"


End file.
